Ok, so I'm totes going a little cray cray tonight. Tomorrow I'm putting in my official resignation at work, and though I'm STOKED about finally being able to do so, I can't shake this anxiety-ridden feeling. My mom and sis remarked today that I look so much more peaceful, like my face was one giant knot for the last few months and now it's come undone. I look at peace. Which is exactly how I feel -- I can finally see my light at the end of the tunnel and all that. But now comes my final hurdle of pulling the ripcord, and what irks me is I have no idea what the reaction is going to be work.
These kinds of things are always a big question mark till you actually see them in action, but I have a feeling my boss(es) are going to react with anger. After all, I've only been there 6 months and I was "given this opportunity" when I was recommended by someone who was interviewing me at a different publication. I feel like they will think that I'm unappreciative of being given a chance at our publication, or that I'm being unprofessional by leaving so early. And I have retorts to both of those points if they do bring them up. But I have to remember going into my private discussion tomorrow that I don't owe them anything. They will undoubtedly make me feel guilty, or unprofessional, or try to reason with me to stay by perhaps saying they will fix things. But in my 6 months of being there they did nothing to fix anything, and as a result I grew to hate going to the office with every passing day.
That's the problem and that's what I'll say. That I don't hate the job, in fact I love what I do. It was no accident that I'm working in journalism. But the people that work under me are some of the most unprofessional, abusive personalities that I've ever had to deal with in an office atmosphere. They don't allow me to do my job because they make it personal when they have a problem -- which is at least once a week. And on a sidenote, and to be completely honest, I think a man would be better suited in my position. Not that a woman can't do the job, but these females on staff are sexist in nature and it appears they only respect a man's advice when it comes to anything related to their job.
I've been practicing what I'm going to say to J and we've listed the top three bulletpoints that I should remember when I'm giving my farewell speech tomorrow (I tend to tread off topic so I'm hoping these three points will keep me on track in the conversation).
Again, though, I have no idea how my resignation is going to be taken so I'm a little anxious. No, they can't keep there and I'd much rather leave tomorrow than in two weeks, but I feel that giving them the standard two is the most professional way to get out of this. I hope they just tell me to pack up immediately; I would gladly oblige. Oh and when is the best time of day to do this type of thing? I'm thinking earlier in the day than later, i.e., I'll wait for Boss Man to come in, get his coffee, check his email, then before our daily meeting I'm planning to take him aside to a conference room and tell him that I've thought about it all weekend and that after this last week (where I ended up crying to him), I think it's best for me to move on.
Anyway, J and I are going out to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse to celebrate his job offer with friends tonight, so I won't be thinking about this for at least a few hours over good food and wine.