Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The tipping point

Ugh. Where do I even begin. I promised myself I wasn't going to talk about work in every single freaking blog post of mine, but I completely lost it today and so I think this deserves a bit of air time. 

Terrible Coworker (aka TC) -- the one who threw me under the bus months ago at work -- is at it again. Which is funny since I thought things had gotten much better with TC, as most of November and all of December went swimmingly. Better than I could have ever imagined us getting along professionally. But in the last week or so, TC has reverted back to his/her old self. Nasty, passive aggressive comments about how I lack what it takes to be in my position. Constant, back-handed berating about how deficient I am. Normally I let this acerbic behavior go and chalk it up to TC's overly apparent insecurities as a writer. But today I completely fell apart. 

To make a long story short I hauled my boss L into a private meeting and, through frustrated tears, told her that I'm thisclose to quitting, that I'm about to walk right out and that TC is a BITCH. Yes, I used "bitch" twice, and not without pointing out that I can't work with TC's "shitty personality" anymore. (I can't believe I actually said all this.) More than that, I can't believe I finally, very publicly, fell apart at work. 

I was SO embarrassed. 

It was the first time I'd ever cried IN the office. In any office. L obviously felt bad but didn't know how to respond to me, and said it was good to vent in private like I was doing. Well guess what? Venting doesn't solve this problem at all, as my husband can attest to since he has to hear my malaise daily. And I said that. L went into the reasons why TC might be acting the way he/she is: major insecurities with their own work, needing a scapegoat (aka me) to blame those feelings of inadequacy on, etc. etc. And the solution, according to L, is that I need to talk to TC and -- while wearing a thick skin -- let the insults roll off me and reassure TC that we need to communicate better to have a good working relationship. Really? A.) I did this before, it seemed to work for a time and now it's reverted back to being terrible, and B.) I need to accept insults in order for us to function better as a team? This is a new way of thinking to me, and if that's the case I am so beyond out. 

D has a second interview with a firm tomorrow afternoon, just after a first interview with a different firm tomorrow morning. Praying that something good comes out of these, but I'm tired of waiting where we're going to "end up" because of his job. Tonight I've officially started sending out resumes, and I hope to put in my two weeks as soon as possible -- either when D finally gets an offer or I find something else as quickly as I can. 

Earlier this month I'd started thinking of good excuses to give my bosses when they question my resignation. After all, I haven't been there that long. At first I thought I'd lie and say I was leaving the country to do something like teach English in a foreign land. Then I thought that sounded too flighty, that I'd need to say something more along the lines of "I need to care for a close elderly relative of mine with a health issue," which sounds much more responsible and upright. To perpetuate that sentiment I started looking more "sad" than usual, so when I eventually drop the health issue bomb on them it will make complete sense. I had to remind myself, though, to not overly pout as it could look like I simply had a problem with my lower lip. I simply needed to look a little lost and confused, like I just smelled a fart. 

But now the act is over. It will now come as no surprise when I put in my two weeks. And I won't have to lie about a thing. ;)


  1. Ugh, sounds so awful - I can't imagine having a coworker like that - though from your stories it sounds like a serious case of insecurity/jealousy on TC's part. I hope you or your husband find something soon so you can have the satisfaction of giving your two weeks notice! Good luck!!

  2. Hang in there hun! I had to leave my office yesterday to cry (at walgreens whilst looking at nail polish) just so I wouldn't break down at work. On another note, I applied for 15 jobs last night. Here's to hoping for better (for the both of us!) Good luck D!

  3. Oh dear... we could TALK about work...

    You know, I had a TC once, and somehow, found a way to get through to her so much so that when SHE finally quit, she said to me, of all the things I regret at work, it's the issue between you and I. I wish I had never done it.


    As far as planning your work swan song - it's always harder than it seems. We all want to be a Steven Slater.

  4. Boo I am so sorry you have to deal with this crap!! You deserve better, and I have no doubt in the world you will find something better.

  5. I'll keep my fingers crossed for a job to turn up so you can escape that terrible job. All I can say is what a rubbish manager you have! xx

  6. I don't understand why they think you should listen to those insults in order to help your working relationship. That's BS. I hope you find something better for you soon!

  7. Coworkers like that are the WORST. I always wondered how empty their lives must be if they feel the need to behave like that in the workplace. Can you imagine being so miserable that you have to make everybody else miserable too, even at a crappy job?

    You'll find something better. And your husband will get a kickass offer. Soon, this person will be nothing more than an annoying memory.

  8. @Frugal Ecologist: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's all her own insecurities talking. Thank you for the good luck. :)

    @Stephanie: Girl, you made me so sad when I read that! Nothing's worse than shopping sad in the makeup aisle of a drugstore. Hang in there, it sounds like you're keeping busy applying; something will stick.

    @Maria: Your Steven Slater comment is SO true. Interesting that girl confessed she regretted her issue with you. That must have felt like ultimate vindication!

    @Carolyn: Thank you! You're always so positive, I need that to rub off on me, haha.

    @CameronPoe: Complete rubbish, I say!

    @Jessica: It's total BS. I think good things are around the corner, though.

  9. Hang in there, you will be out of there soon! Trust me, you will feel much better leaving with the truth than some made up story.

    My mom actually worked with a TC-type person who was her boss. This went on for a few years and it was so frustrating, my mom and several co-workers ended up switching departments. FINALLY, last week the TC was fired!!

    Regardless of how it happens, karma is a b*t*h and will come back to get this TC!!