Well I did it today. I put in my two weeks.
So it didn't go exactly as planned, which added to my stress about the situation, but I had to improvise and in the end I think it worked out fine. When I got to work this morning I was beyond ready to tell my immediate boss (aka Boss Man) about my resignation, but he never showed up. Turns out his kid got sick and so he was planning to come in later this afternoon -- about the same time that I was leaving early for a doctor's appointment.
Big, humongous drawn-out sigh here. Why does this always happen to me?
I sure as hell didn't want to wait till Tuesday to this, and I would have much rather done it in-person as planned, but I couldn't wait to get it over with. It was like holding a hot potato right out of the microwave. I needed to throw that puppy on the counter. So I decided to write an email, and I cc'ed our boss.
Well that boss came in a few minutes later, and within an hour of arriving he was sitting in our publisher's office with the door closed, speaking to him about me and my resignation letter (or so the secretary whispered to me). He still hadn't talked to me at all, but after he left the publisher's office he came back to his office and asked to speak with me. Awkward!!
Basically it turned out my boss hadn't told him at all about my breakdown on Wednesday and that it came as a surprise to him to hear all that and to hear that my boss hadn't attempted to fix anything. He apologized that it had gotten to that at work and he kept prodding me for more details about TC et. al. till I finally started crying in his office when I recalled all the stress of the last few months. It was so embarrassing. But it ended much more even keel then I thought it would. I guess I expected him to throw his desk over like that chick in that Real Housewives of New Jersey finale. But there was no table flipping. He did ask what they could do with the next person in my position and I made it clear what needed to be done, and what hadn't been done for me.
Then a few hours later Boss Man finally came in and took me into a private room upon arrival. Long story with him but basically he wasn't as understanding as our top boss, and made me feel like the reasons for my departure were my fault, that he "didn't realize" I was this close to the end of my rope there and that he didn't "feel like I'd given him a chance to try and fix things." Right. Like it was ALL my fault. I told him I didn't agree -- that I'd attempted to fix things before (as he knew) and that none of it ever went anywhere. Mostly because I got no backup from them. (Which of course he doesn't like since the onus of my leaving gets pushed on his inability to manage his employees correctly.) Anywits, he kept pushing it on me, making it seem like I was overreacting, to which I just got more pissed off till finally I gave up trying to explain myself since he tried to rationalize just about every one of my complaints and in the end I wanted him to just stop. I had no more to stay and was ready to go home. I guess this pseudo reverse-psychology was his attempt at getting me to stay, but everything he said further confirmed the fact that I was making the right decision.
So now I have two weeks left! Tonight J and I went shopping for new dress shirts and a suit for him. During our spree he said we should buy something for me to celebrate my "I quit" day (good husband) so I picked these little lambs out:
I'm in love with them. The sea foam green screams spring and I'm obsessed with how classic they are. I'm jonesing for a Vespa to toodle around town with since J will be using our car to commute to work every day, and the first thing I thought of when I saw these was how fabulous they'd look with my Vespa when I eventually get it! It'd be so Italian.
I'm happy. So happy, for a multitude of reasons right now. But best of all I feel like I can breathe again.